The Role of a Titus 2 Woman ~ Part 4

Oh, there is so much to say about the role of a Titus 2 woman who desires to walk, talk, and example an everyday Christian life before her husband, children, and others, but I must move on.

The first chapter of Ephesians verse eighteen points the eyes of our heart to a word that spells present and  future anticipation: ”inheritance.” These verses open a trunk of unimagined truths that will fill our minds and our hearts with paeans of praise and thanksgiving to our triune God who is thrice empowered to enlighten and to care for Christians: God the Father in v. 3, God the Son in v. 7, and God the Holy Spirit in v. 13. Our Christian inheritance is a blessing beyond comparison. We must guard it much more carefully than we would guard an earthly one. Think on that.

“Children are a heritage [treasure] from the Lord” (Psa.127:3). Think about that! God trusts life into our hands and heart. This statement presupposes that the Lord has placed children in a home where He is honored and obeyed, where they will be reared in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. If that is the case, verse five will follow, “Happy is the man [and the woman] who [have their] quiver full of them [treasures, possessions].”

We are at the stage of life that causes us to give thought to the “things” that we have enjoyed through the years. Who will get what? Who will care for this antique? Will this item fit with their decor? Do they have the space for this? Only a “thing.” But a child is a “treasure” to be tenderly cared for, polished, guarded, and prepared for eternity.

It is not my intention to offer advice based on my experience from rearing six teenage children in our extended family as a result of the death of one of their own parents. I took the God-given assignment seriously; thus, I dove into Scripture for answers that would be practical, proper, and thus God honoring and effectual. Yes, I wish I could do it over. Maturity, observation, and more study of the Word have taught me much that I wish I had known during that season of motherhood.

I have treasured those years as a God-given assignment. Let me explain. My husband Robert and I were expecting to spend our entire lives on the mission field. God had other plans. Robert dropped dead from a heart attack. Dr. Whitcomb’s wife went to be with the Lord after many years of suffering. His four and my two became our six. I had intended to return to the mission field, but God gave me a mission field right in our home — six hurting children ages 10,12, 13,14,15, and 16. Every mother must dive into Scripture whether rearing one or a dozen children.

My husband John recently gave me a devotional Bible study book, Walking With God in the Seasons of Motherhood by Melissa Kruger (2015), is recommended to mothers, grandmothers, and older women who desire to disciple young mothers, Following is a sample of her godly wisdom from Scripture. “Moms say ‘Be careful.’” Paul reminded the Ephesians to be careful. His guidance has so much to do with the family. “God created the family unit to be the foundation for all of society. If home life does not prosper, then all of society will fail to prosper. For this reason God calls us to be careful in how we live within our homes.”

Mothering requires knowing God’s Word, entrusting her child to the Lord, reflecting the heart of God, fighting against anxiety, worry, harshness, and anger. Mothers need help with discipline and godly exampling. It is absolutely necessary to use God’s Word as a primary source, but for guidance in fleshing it out in daily matters, other help is advantageous. Yes, God is sufficient. He promises wisdom, and He aids us by those who have spent years in study and experience. Be discreet in choosing resources and only after you diligently study the Word.

Christianity is a calling. Mothering is a calling. God has called us to it. We must never forget that! It has benefits that are out of this world if we follow God’s guidelines.

The Role of a Titus 2 Woman ~ Part 3

“….teach the young women to love their husbands” v.4. I’m wondering. In the day in which we live, would it be good that older women take a fresh look at their husband/wife relationship? There is so much to distract. So much for older women to vie for. Not much to help them grow old gracefully, let alone to grow old in a godly manner. You can see. It is all around us. Observe.

Loving our husbands is more than giving them a kiss when they come in the door. Love and respect go hand in hand. There are innumerable ways to show our husbands love/respect. I refer to William McDonald’s Bible Commentary (p. 2140) which says it so well. The wife should acknowledge his leadership in the home, make no major decisions apart from him, keep an orderly home, pay attention to personal appearance, live within their means, forgive graciously, keep the lines of communication open, refrain from contradicting or criticizing in front of others and in front of the children.  We need to examine and brush up, don’t we?

 To love is hard work. When we add the words ”at all times” (Prov. 17:17), it is almost beyond us. Let’s remember that we have God’s “I will”  to depend on. With such help we can’t fail.  This verse includes all interpersonal relationships inside and outside the family — husband, wife, children, in-laws, neighbors, friends, clerks, service workers, and the list goes on.

 Let’s think some more. Your husband does not give you the romantic attention you desire. Could there be a reason? Take note. A woman came into the room where her husband was reading the paper. She was primped up — nicely clothed, makeup on, orderly hairdo, perfume. He looked up and asked where she was going. “To the gynecologist” she answered, to which he replied, “ ‘Wish I were your gynecologist.” That speaks volumes. It should sound a wakeup call. Hubby needs attention. If he goes to work at a usual time, I’m one who thinks the wife should be up, pleasant, dressed, hair combed, ready to talk, coffee and breakfast ready. (Perhaps not the norm of the day but give it some attention.) We must remember that many husbands go to work where women are attentive to them and dressed like decoys. His last memory of his wife was a frump. And we wonder why bad things happen. The eye gate is powerful.

 We want our husbands to have every reason to rise up and call us blessed (Prov. 31:28). Many wry remarks have been made about Proverbs, chapter 31. Maybe we are unable to function at the capacity of this virtuous woman, but let’s never forget that every jot, every tittle, every word has been inspired by the Holy Spirit. We are wise to heed as God gives direction and help.

 Women give many reasons for working outside the home. Some are bonafide. Others are to shirk home duties. They say, “I don’t like to cook and clean and stay home,” so they don’t. Others don’t go to work, but home duties are neglected while husbands go to work day after day whether they like it or not. Husbands need to know how much we appreciate them. Surprise him with his favorite meal every now and then. When he comes in the door, thank him for providing for the family. Teach the children to say “thank you” and to show gratitude to their Dad in other ways. You will be surprised what their ingenuity and creativity will come up with. Then the husband will acknowledge that her worth cannot be measured in terms of costly jewels.

 Two sin natures are living within the same walls. Harmony is a grace of God. Search the Word. Use a commentary. Dig deep. Obey His directives. Ask those who are modeling God’s way if they would disciple you. Strive. Your Helper is with you.

The Role of the Titus 2 Woman ~ Part 2

Thank you for your responses to last month’s first topic on this subject.

We are going to get into some “ouchy” matters as we look at God’s directives on the virtues of a godly woman.

God dives right in, and by His gracious admonitions via the Holy Spirit we are about to get more than our toes wet. Older women, are we ready to be used? Young women, is your sober mind open to sound and valuable counsel resulting from years of Bible study and practical experience of older women? (I’m not referring to myself. I’m laying out a few thoughts, but hopefully someone whom you know, or to whom He will lead you, will be your discipler.)

Isn’t it interesting that the first virtue is “…love your husbands” (Titus 2:4)? “But sometimes he is so unlovable!” That’s not the point — “love your husbands,” the Bible says. It’s your obedience, not his worthiness. We dwell on his negatives to a point that they are all we focus on. Then we start talking about it. Why?  Can anyone make him over? Do we want sympathy? Are we gossiping? Yes!  We forget that it is our responsibility to PRAY for our husbands, and it is GOD’S responsibility to make him GOOD.

I learned a lot about prayer during those 11 years I was a missionary in the Philippines with my first husband, Robert. And I am still learning. The China Inland Mission (now Overseas Missionary Fellowship) had an appropriate principle — “God moves men through prayer alone.” It works in every venue including loving your husband. Oh, yes, and it works in us wives, as well. Oooooh!

Women have seen great things happen when they “lay off” and pray. Let me tell you of an incident. A Christian young woman came to me in frustration, aggravation, and tears. Her husband had not performed as she thought he should. She was lividly mad at him. She didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to be in the same house with him. Through God’s looking glass of Scripture we scrutinized her attitudes and his problems. Note where we started. Deal with me first, Lord. Search my heart. Take away the dross. Take me through the cleansing fire. How much had she figured God in all of this? Not until she went to the Word. This was an excellent opportunity for personal self-examination. Oh, it is so much easier to sit at a computer and write it than it is to live it.

The more we think about a negative, the more it becomes fixed in our mind. This is the time we should become absorbed with God and His Word and the things that are true/truth. When our minds are occupied with the awesomeness of God, the sacredness of His love, and the power of
His Word, many aggravations are as though they didn’t exist. Putrefied water and clean water cannot occupy the same pool.

When we women get emotional, we don’t think rationally, and we leave God out of the equation. We are told to think on whatever is just. That means to “think on God’s standards.” We need to do our homework with our Bible open, and with prayer, paper, and pencil. “I don’t have time for that, you say. It seems we can hear, “Well then, dear daughter, lose the victory.”

Signed: the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit.

The Role of the Titus 2 Woman ~ Part 1

Every Christian woman should strive to become a Titus 2 woman regardless of her marital status. This can only be accomplished by seeking God’s grace and empowerment. We pursue, and God does the work.

In a previous blog, I have stated that vital growth activity takes discipline, work, time, and prayer. It is beyond our frail human efforts, but when we turn to God, He instructs us and answers our fervent prayers.

In verses 1-15 of Titus chapter 2, false teachers were denying the great truths of the faith. Paul gave Titus the task of teaching what was proper for sound doctrine. Verse 1 is rich and demands individual in-depth study. I’m intrigued with the admonition that believers are to “speak things which are proper for sound doctrine.” Paul uses the word “sound”  five times in this little book and always in the sense that truth produces spiritual growth. What are the “things” that Paul is referring to? “Be sober-minded, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in love.” Ponder them. It would be good to consult your commentary. I found the dictionary enlightening also— “unmarred, established, firm, solid, healthy, fit.”

Let’s take a look at Paul’s Holy Spirit-inspired admonition to older women that is found in verses  3 and 4. The footnote in my Bible describes older women as those who no longer have child-rearing responsibilities. That becomes the ouchy part, especially with grandchildren. We look at their tendency toward sin and say, “Do we or don’t we?” especially if their parents are wearing rose-tinted glasses. However, I believe it’s always best to start with prayer.

Age makes some people callous, bitter, and cynical. Note the unconditional virtues that God longs to develop in women as well as men—Paul adds more to the older women’s list— “behavior that becomes holiness, …teachers of good things.” Why does Paul assign these strengths to older ones rather than younger ones? I rather assume it  is because it takes a long time for God’s patient polishing. We will be old by the time we learn and apply what we need to know, apply, and do in order to be capable of teaching, exampling, and admonishing younger women. When we shine forth as gold, He is ready to assign responsibilities.

We are apt to find excuses when we are given assignments. Martha Peace helps us by asking  pointed and introspective questions: What are your priorities of life? What activities and commitments do you have? What takes up your time? Are they biblically based? (Becoming a Titus 2 Woman). How do we figure in our plans, wishes, desires, conveniences? When progress becomes discouraging, our all-sufficient One steps in and assures us that His purposes, done His way, will not lack His supply.

Specifically, an older woman should admonish the younger women. Years of Bible study and experience enable her to pass on valuable counsel to those starting out in life. Otherwise each new generation is doomed to learn the hard way, repeating the mistakes of the past. While the
responsibility for teaching is put on the older women, any wise young person will cultivate the friendship of godly older Christians and solicit their advice and correction. (adapted) Believer’s Commentary.  

(to be continued)

Thought #46

“God tests our desire and increases it by the waiting.”  Fred Mitchell

WHO IS IN CONTROL?

A much used statement is “God is control”, but is He really? We use it in various and multiple contexts. Sometime with deep conviction and fervency, but too often flippantly as a quick fix.

Yes, “God is in control” is an absolute, irrefutable statement, and God’s Word is peppered with this incredible assurance. While this fact offers everlasting assurance, it leaves no place for indifference nor irresponsibility. A study of this treasured fact sends us on a journey which is too profound for us without help from the throne. Let’s concentrate on control of our thought life, our mind. Does your mind ever send you on a tizzy? You don’t sleep at night. You tell yourself you are not going to think any more about that thing that has kept you awake for hours. You even ask God to help you release it and go back to sleep. And before you turn over, there it is again. What do you do? Some turn on the TV, others pace the floor, or run to the frig, or turn to unmentionable activities.

The Bible tells us again and again that we control what we think. We do have control over unwelcome thoughts that come to our mind. No, not by ourselves. God gives the solutions and by His Spirit the power to be an overcomer. Phil. 4:8 explicitly directs us to think on true, honest, just, pure thoughts — the virtues that are genuine, honorable and morally upright, righteous before God, admirable, and praiseworthy. Jesus will plead for us at the throne of grace.

The Word clearly reminds us that we, too, have a responsibility in this matter. God does not garrison the thought-life of those who do not desire or want it. “A person cannot entertain evil thoughts and thoughts about the Lord Jesus at the same time”. Who is in control?

Paul, under the direction of the Holy Spirit in verse 6 of the same chapter, gives another antidote for anxiety (sinful fretting). Rid yourself of anxiety. Is that possible? Yes it is for the Christian. How? It is before our eyes. The powerful resource of believing prayer. And there is one more activity. Thanksgiving—even before we have the answer. To be thankful before the answer comes is to tell the Father that we know He is in control. That we set our mind on Him and His promises and we stop worrying. “Anxious for nothing; prayerful in everything; thankful for anything”. Let’s not overlook the all inclusive word,“everything”. Everything means everything.

In verse 7 of Phil. chapter 4, Paul assures us that God will garrison the believer’s heart in Christ Jesus. There is power in the precious blood of Jesus Christ. The same power that raised our Savior from the dead is available to us in time of need.

There is a blessed reward for our attempted obedience. PEACE — THE ASSURANCE OF BLESSED PEACE. Verse 7. “…the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard our heart and mind through Christ Jesus”. Neither midnight TV nor Facebook can give it.

What is the peace of God? It is a “sense of holy compose and complacency which floods the soul of the believer when he is leaning hard on God” (William MacDonald, Believers Bible Commentary p. 1978). Peace is the result of total surrender.

“Stayed upon Jehovah, Hearts are fully blessed; Finding as He promised, Perfect peace and rest”.  Francis Havergal

Thought #45

Are you waiting for God to answer your prayer?  Do you think He has forgotten?  Not interested?  Do you think He can’t?  If your request is for God’s glory and your good, you have every reason to expect the answer according to His accurate time table and in His all wise way.  “Casting all your care upon Him for He careth for you.”