MENTORING ~ Part 4

Our transient, love-starved world has numerous heart’s doors that are desperately waiting to swing open to someone who has a compassion.That is a stupendously big topic which I will slightly touch on in this issue. Before I do, I would like to refer to MENTORING Part 2 to leave a few thought-provoking snippets about the husband-wife relationship.

“Anything without a head is dead. Anything with two heads is a monster — in the home and elsewhere.” “Before marriage opposites attract; After marriage opposites attack.”
“Do we wear labels or do we meet needs?” “Anyone in need of mercy is a neighbor.”

The husband-wife relationship sets the tone for the home atmosphere; therefore, it must be  strongly, consistently, and seriously established on Christian principles. God has given the necessary guidelines in His Instruction Book.

Homes are crumbling. Why? For reasons too many to be covered in this short treatise. One to be  addressed is the transient lifestyle of its members. Extra-curricular school activities, sports, clubs, music, “Ys,” gyms, hobbies, and more entice family members away from each other. Parents and children don’t know where the others are. Days go by without sitting down to a meal together as a family. Mealtime is a special time for catching up with each other and for bonding. A time of laughter and love. A time to share perspectives, plans, and dreams. A time to be guided, admonished, and equipped. A time of corporate mentoring. A  family devotion time.

At one time the six children of our blended family ranged from 13 to 20 years. Work schedules and school programs became a challenge for togetherness. We had to have rules that could not be broken without an acceptably good reason. There were no excuses for neglecting church. In their younger years we went as a family in one station wagon. In those days we dressed appropriately, because we were going before the King of kings. (Perhaps this statement is out of line in this day and age. Please excuse if you disagree with my clothing code.)

Every child needs the masculine influence in his/her life. For various reasons it is missing. Mother must play the two roles. Impossible and unforgivable if both live in the home. Mother provides love, understanding, and tenderness. Father provides solidarity and regularity. Together they do not merely focus on the cute little child but on the child’s adulthood. Already Gone and Already Compromised, books produced by Answers in Genesis, alert and unnerve us when we read facts and data that focus on why youth are church dropouts. I believe the basic reason starts in the home and then the church. Youth are home dropouts as well.

From experience I conclude that the most strategic mentoring tools are godly prepared hearts,  minds, and souls. When needy opportunities cross our paths, we rarely have warning, and we must be prepared through fervent, believing prayer, There is great activity in the heavenlies when we pray. As we pray, “the Spirit works in the unconscious domain of another’s being about which we know nothing, and about which the other person knows nothing. After a while the conscious life of the one being prayed for begins to show signs of softening and unrest, of enquiry and a desire to know. As our prayers are directed to God who understands the conscious depths of our longing, He uses our prayers to change the desires of the one for whom we are praying. We cannot keep silent; we are compelled to intercede. We refuse to doubt or give up our vigil” (Oswald Chambers).THE TRINITY IS EFFICACIOUS. WE CAN’T LOSE!

Mentoring ~ Part 3

Mentoring is defined by Stanley and Clinton in their book, CONNECTING, as a relational experience in which one person empowers another by sharing their God-given resources. They  support their definition by showing that Moses mentored Joshua, that Naomi coached Ruth, and that Jesus clearly modeled a lifestyle of mentoring as he discipled and taught His disciples. Mentoring certainly is a multi-faceted experience composed of discipling, guiding, coaching, counseling, teaching, sponsoring, and modeling. Mentoring is reaching out to meet the painful needs of hurting people. Or it may be less invasive, as the above description indicates.

Simply stated, mentoring is caring about and lovingly leading someone to be an overcomer. As Christians our purpose is to point them to the Word of God to find out who He is and what He can/will do for them. At a glance it is obvious that there are numerous burdened and baffled individuals who need answers. There are many reasons why they don’t reach out for help. Often they can think of no one whom they feel comfortable with or who would have answers.

When God opens the mentoring door to us, we are initially overwhelmed. It is possible that we shun our God-appointed responsibility for fear we won’t have answers. Of course the enemy will put roadblocks in front of us. Oh, what a powerful God we have who invites us to trust Him for wisdom, knowledge, and direction. He will be with us for He has promised, “whatever you ask the Father in my name, he WILL do it” (Jn. 16:23). Step out. Claim His never failing promises.  

Two weeks ago I had the opportunity to chat (mentor) again with a friend of several years. After chatting awhile, I felt it was time to ask questions. “Are you reading your Bible?” (On several occasions I had challenged her with that necessity.) She said that she had not taken the time because of enormous interruptions. I knew that to be true and sympathized with her.The second question was, “Are you finding comfort in the Lord?” Answer, “I’m trying.” Response, “Dear, B., it is not a matter of trying. It is a matter of trusting” (Prov. 3:5).The better we know our Bible, the more readily will the Holy Spirit bring Scripture to our mind when we need it. God’s “sword” will be at the edge of our mind and at the tip of our tongue.

I again quote from THE DAILY REMEMBRANCER, edited by S.H.Tow, page 578. “Our God is greater than all, and He is able and faithful. Remember His promises, ‘As thy days, so shall thy strength be.’ Prove the Savior’s testimony, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee.’ Accept the divine invitation, ‘Call upon me in the day of trouble, I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.’ Attend to the inspired direction, ‘Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.’ Imitate the sorely tried Psalmist, ‘I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.’ Rest thy troubled spirit on the promises of God, ‘He giveth power to the faint, and to him that haveth no might He increaseth strength.’ Endeavor to apply to yourself the apostolic exhortation, ‘Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.’ Let not your hearts faint, for your sins are pardoned, your foes are doomed, your mansion is being prepared, your needs will certainly be met, your Savior deeply sympathizes with you, your heavenly Father cares for you, and all things must work together for your good. Call upon God and He will show thee great and mighty things that thou knowest not. ‘Let not your hearts faint.’” Rich! By God’s grace alone! Be strengthened by these powerful, assuring promises so you are equipped to use them in your mentoring ministry.

MENTORING ~ Part 2

It is a delight to share with you again after a two-month absence. Have you entwined your heart with someone to mentor? I do hope so.

It is interesting to know that entire companies are recognizing the value of mentoring to the point of establishing internal mentoring structures to ensure that senior executives will coach young men and women employees. Interesting. Isn’t that a wakeup call to us to follow the scriptural mandate of mentoring so that the legacy of godly living is passed on to the next generation?

In many cases the home is the most neglected when it comes to mentoring. Committed Christians neglect home ministry! What should be our mentoring priority? Our ministry within the family unit. It seems that we so often think of ministry as something we do outside the walls of our homes or under a church umbrella. To establish a solid, God-honoring unit requires more love, patience, and time than our busy, self-centered schedule seem to permit.

The good Samaritan account of Luke 10:29-37 has had a tremendous impact on me as I ponder the home unit. The lawyer’s question (Luke 10: 25-28), whether sincere or an attempt to trick Jesus, sets the background for my thoughts about the home. He asked a very pointed, thought-provoking question, “Who is my neighbor?” As the instructive parable unfolds, Jesus makes it clear that a neighbor is someone in need. Someone who is hurting. A neighbor needs a mentor! A “someone” who will listen, who will feel, who will care with compassion and love. Someone who lives the virtues of spiritual fruit — love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Gal. 5:22).

Perhaps it might appear that I am stretching the Samaritan account. I rather think that I am extending it to another justifiable application. One reason that homes are crumbling is the laxity in neighborliness within its walls.The inhabitants are different people inside and outside its door. In my Young’s concordance are well over 100 Bible references to the word neighbor that is listed in categories of “near,” “friend,” “companion,” etc. May I make an assignment?  Look up, read, ask the Holy Spirit to help you, as parents, example and teach true neighborliness in the home, which then becomes a “lamp stand” to reach into your neighborhood (Luke 4:21-25).

Within the family the first mentoring ministry ought to be between husband and wife. Surprise! Never thought of that before? The home environment will be no stronger than is the husband- wife relationship. The first principle that comes to mind is “selflessness.” Ouch! Divorce incubates on selfishness. “I want my way and I am not giving in.” Sounds rather childish, doesn’t it? And everybody suffers.

The word “activity” is the first to flash across my mind as a detriment to neighborliness within the home. Please spend some time evaluating the amount of time that the family spends together as a sharing relational unit talking with each other, laughing together, playing games together, eating around the table together, uniting in serious, deep Bible study together.

Once when John Foster Dulles phoned the Douglas MacArthur II home asking for “Doug,” Mrs. MacArthur snapped back irately, “MacArthur is where MacArthur always is weekdays, Saturday, Sundays and nights—in that office!” Within minutes, MacArthur got a telephone order from Dulles. “Go home at once. Your home front is crumbling.”      
                              “A CHARGE TO KEEP WE HAVE; A GOD TO GLORIFY.”

MENTORING ~ Part 1

“A quick glance at the women’s magazines on the end of the aisles at the grocery store gives proof of the need for influence among today’s women. The feminine masses are preoccupied with who is the most influential, the most beautiful, the most successful, the happiest. Why? With the separation of families, many are left with the absence of a woman of influence in their day-to-day lives” (Baptist Bulletin, May 2001).

We live in a very independent world. We are extremely independent women. It is difficult to spend time with an outpouring of influence into the lives of others. We live in a world of independent people who don’t want anyone to meddle with their values or their plans. At the same time, there are many who live behind a facade. What an opportunity to be that someone to whom they will divulge their aching heart!

What does it take to be a woman to whom one would come to find help? Does our godly walk and our godly character single us out as one with spiritual depth mingled with graciousness, love and understanding? Have we walked through the valley with God so that we have learned to edify ourselves — all because our hearts have been entwined with Him through our temptations and trial

Women need companionship and comfort as they journey through their transient and troubled experiences. They are searching for someone who has been through the fire. The dross has been removed and she gleams with pure gold. They are looking for someone who possesses a mothering heart. One who will not judge or condemn, but who will love, be patient and understanding, pray with her, and help her through trials (cf. Phil.2: 1-4).

Mentoring is not a circumstance of older to younger. Age has nothing to do with it. Yes,  it can be a grandmotherly ear bent to a young child, or teenager with teenager, or friend with friend, or youth at the footstool of an aged one. It is tenderness, loving concern,  coupled with consistent godliness which results from a consistent walk with God.

Oh yes, there must be the willingness to give the treasure of time. There is no substitute. Influence is deepest and most penetrating when invested over time. It is time consistently spent in the Word and in prayer that prepares us to be a mentor.

Reaching out has no barriers. It can be done via email, letters, phone conversations, or over a cup of tea. It is the godly mothering influence that is being searched out. One who can be depended on to  keep confidences. One who will not condemn. One who has compassion (cf. Phil. 2:1-4).

Question: Are we ready to lay aside the trivia of life (make you own list)  to make/spend time investing our godly influence and insights into a searching heart? There are droves of such ones out there. If you know not such a one, pray that God will lead her to you or you to her. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Gal. 6:9).